yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
