yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
