I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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