you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
