giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
