I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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