She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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