Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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