I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
