There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
