New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
