i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
