In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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