dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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