I just pynch a tree in the face
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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