I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
