I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My balls are so social today.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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