the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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