So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
In America we eat man semen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
