I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
