Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
