dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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