..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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