I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
