let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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