I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
