Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What drink are we having for lunch?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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