Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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