im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
