He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
