She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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