Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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