my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
