You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
