So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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