Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."