Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(706): View more from Georgia

don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.

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(954): View more from Florida

You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

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(208): View more from Idaho

Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.

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(585): View more from New York

I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak

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(231): View more from Michigan

BRING THE BAGELS

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