I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
