Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?