oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
