So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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