the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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