Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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