My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
