i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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