fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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