The maid of honor just puked.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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