I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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