i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
