i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So here I am, sexting at work.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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