She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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