The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
