I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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