They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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