I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
