Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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